wide awake
...
It's 12am here in Los Angeles, and I still can't sleep. I am supposed to read two more papers for the conference on Friday but oh well, because I am a natural crammer...here I am still unable to finish all the readings. I don't mind. Pare-pareho lang naman sila ng sinasabi...I know I'll get by. What is perhaps unlucky is that well, this person contacted me again after a weeks of being invisible. I know he's busy...but it isnt so hard to write a one or two sentences to tell me that he's busy hence, will just get back to me when he's got the time. Oh well...oh well...wrong timing. I saw his pics..and it's simply...ahhh...wrong timing. I need peace of mind right now. I need to be confident and happy and prepared. How can I do it now? Hay. Seriously, there was a reason why I initially ignored his friend request. It was because I want him out....out of my life. However, a simple "kumusta" from him really shakes my whole disposition. Always makes me weak. Yeah...been weak again. Gave in to the clamor of a stupid heart. I don't know. Why should I run away? Will I run away? What good would that do? Nothing. Maybe Ill be spared from more pain but what the heck, Ive been hurt... What's the difference? Suddenly, I remember what my favorite student told me..."Danasin mo..." Maybe...that's a good thing. Dadanasin ko ito. Ill savor the moment and will just fight the rapid waters ahead. Who knows? Maybe I'll win this battle. Maybe.... Just maybe...but for now, I'll prepare my heart as I prepare my mind for tom's flight to Maryland. Dadanasin ko ito. Naks. :)
:)
It's 12am here in Los Angeles, and I still can't sleep. I am supposed to read two more papers for the conference on Friday but oh well, because I am a natural crammer...here I am still unable to finish all the readings. I don't mind. Pare-pareho lang naman sila ng sinasabi...I know I'll get by. What is perhaps unlucky is that well, this person contacted me again after a weeks of being invisible. I know he's busy...but it isnt so hard to write a one or two sentences to tell me that he's busy hence, will just get back to me when he's got the time. Oh well...oh well...wrong timing. I saw his pics..and it's simply...ahhh...wrong timing. I need peace of mind right now. I need to be confident and happy and prepared. How can I do it now? Hay. Seriously, there was a reason why I initially ignored his friend request. It was because I want him out....out of my life. However, a simple "kumusta" from him really shakes my whole disposition. Always makes me weak. Yeah...been weak again. Gave in to the clamor of a stupid heart. I don't know. Why should I run away? Will I run away? What good would that do? Nothing. Maybe Ill be spared from more pain but what the heck, Ive been hurt... What's the difference? Suddenly, I remember what my favorite student told me..."Danasin mo..." Maybe...that's a good thing. Dadanasin ko ito. Ill savor the moment and will just fight the rapid waters ahead. Who knows? Maybe I'll win this battle. Maybe.... Just maybe...but for now, I'll prepare my heart as I prepare my mind for tom's flight to Maryland. Dadanasin ko ito. Naks. :)
:)
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