Why I Write

I write for myself, foremost of all. I write to make things clear in my head. I write so that I will be able to reflect and ponder over my own mistakes and in doing so, I can navigate through my way and come up with my decisions. I write because, really, thoughts get scrambled in my head and even when I talk to someone, it only adds to the muffled voices that swim in my mind. So, I write because writing is a silent meditation. It is an affirmation, a warning, and a warm consolation. In writing, I listen to my own silence and to my own screams. In writing, I sweep off the clutters that make my head heavy and organize the things I believe must remain or hide the things that must remain hidden. Writing is a necessity and writing is a medicine. I am neither a novelist nor a wordsmith. The scribbles I have written are plain and simple. I have no ambition of becoming a world-famous poet. All I really want to do is write and write in ways I want to and when I want to. Of course, writing is crucial in my chosen field, in the academia, but even in that, I write because I feel this profound and imperative yearning to make sense of things. I write to untangle confusions, deconstruct perspectives, repair misunderstandings, and heal my troubles. I write for all sorts of reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. But, if I think about it further, I write to commune with my soul. I rarely go to the church nowadays and I have given up on praying, really. So I write, I guess I consider this as a form of prayer as well, because when I write, I get to be in touch with my very soul - my desires, dreams, and fears, actually I get to be in touch with everything in me mixed in a plethora of emotions. After every sentence, I breathe. Somestimes I gasp. At other times, I cry though that is not the case most of the times. Yet, no matter how different the processes I go through in writing, the finale is always the same. Always when I am done with writing, the end is this: stillness.