I Pause to Write

It felt exactly like an astral projection
All the people beaming at me
I look at myself welcoming their praises
I seem happy
But it is more complicated, really
I am carrying a ball of swirling emotions
I stare at it and am almost at a lost
How do I even start making sense of it
Happiness tries to convince me it was a huge achievement
Anxiety warns me of the volatility of the future
Pain reminds me of a love lost...and that I just cannot move away simply
Excitement attempts revive my wandering feet and run towards life
Love...oh and love tells me I will be fine
I still have so much love in me
Love for myself
Love for life
Love for my passions
Love for others
If only only love is enough
If only...