To a Life Decluttered

If I can categorize life into tiny little boxes with tags and colors, I will. Parallel lines and right angled corners, I want everything framed and defined; perhaps, even controlled. I am clean-freak and I feel most safe and at peace in an orderly environment. Those people who know me well have seen me descend into an almost-auto-pilot cleaning and scrubbing phase - especially when I am anxious or sad. It is as if by cleaning, I also exorcise the negativity that lingers over my head. 

So, today, I cleaned. I decluttered my life (more than the usual). 

I re-framed my perspective and in between breathes, I conversed with my soul. There are a few things, random things, that crossed my mind and without any effort to evaluate my thoughts, I will just write them down - (again, possibly by writing them down, I am also throwing these thoughts away). 

- I hate wasting my time on people who do not challenge me - or those who do not want to be challenged by me. 

- I am on the verge of being a bitch - please, do not push me, because when my smile fades, all you will see is uncensored indifference that will scar you. 

- I have seen perfection - all that comes after that seems to be bastardized imitations or total frauds. 

- I just need me - a solid core, a clear mind, and a coherent goal.