Before daylight comes... part 2
So I decided to stay in the course of my doctoral degree. It started quite thorny but I guess I was fortunate enough that during the first few months of dealing with the heartache, my supervisor sent me to Japan for an exchange. He actually told me to just use the time to relax and get out of Singapore. As it turned out, I used the time to be really productive and push for a better me. Somehow, I react quite positively to life's adversities. I worked almost everyday writing my thesis proposal and getting ready for my qualifying exam. I wanted to push myself so I insisted in doing the exam one full semester early than the rest of my cohort. I took extra classes in Tokyo even if I was not obliged to. I traveled. I joined the gym. I changed. I was overachieving. I knew that. But, it was the only way I could channel all the hurt of being abandoned into something that will work for my benefit.
The result? I have an excellent academic record. I passed my qualifying exam with flying colors. I lost a lot of weight and got hooked to working out and dance. I would say, I did pretty well. It is not easy bouncing back but I did it with grace and grit. I became a better woman.
What followed was two years of fun and work. I handled undergraduate classes, loved teaching Singaporeans, I traveled some more, and I advanced in my research. I was doing exactly what I wanted and it felt good. Of course, I think I could have worked more, did more research, and was more productive, but, overall, I had a good grasp of my life and that was enough.
I also met someone along the way. He is outside any frame or any definition I could ever think of. There is really nothing more I want to say about this part of my life but this: he was the one person who showed me life's possibilities at a time when I needed some perspective. He guided my hand, took care of me, cooked for me, and loved me in ways I never knew I could even accept. And I loved him with all I got. I am grateful for the time we shared - the ups and downs and the lessons learned. Again, no regrets.
I have changed so much, defined myself coherently in the last four years - and I am happy with how my decisions turned out. The last year of my doctoral studies was not easy...surprise, surprise...
To be continued...
The result? I have an excellent academic record. I passed my qualifying exam with flying colors. I lost a lot of weight and got hooked to working out and dance. I would say, I did pretty well. It is not easy bouncing back but I did it with grace and grit. I became a better woman.
What followed was two years of fun and work. I handled undergraduate classes, loved teaching Singaporeans, I traveled some more, and I advanced in my research. I was doing exactly what I wanted and it felt good. Of course, I think I could have worked more, did more research, and was more productive, but, overall, I had a good grasp of my life and that was enough.
I also met someone along the way. He is outside any frame or any definition I could ever think of. There is really nothing more I want to say about this part of my life but this: he was the one person who showed me life's possibilities at a time when I needed some perspective. He guided my hand, took care of me, cooked for me, and loved me in ways I never knew I could even accept. And I loved him with all I got. I am grateful for the time we shared - the ups and downs and the lessons learned. Again, no regrets.
I have changed so much, defined myself coherently in the last four years - and I am happy with how my decisions turned out. The last year of my doctoral studies was not easy...surprise, surprise...
To be continued...
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