Why I Won't Apologize For Being Strong

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” 

― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

I would like to think that I am a strong woman. My life does not revolve around the traditional expectations of a society; I am not dominated by a husband and I have no kids to take care of. I am preoccupied with my own dreams and visions to seek knowledge and self-improvement. I never dreamt of marrying a man who will provide for me for the rest of my life - in fact, I have always considered that my survival rests on me and me alone. 

I will not apologize for being strong. Because being strong entails that you can depend on me when you decide or want to be weak once in a while. I will not apologize for being strong. Because you can be secured that even if you leave me, I will not crumble. I will not apologize for being strong because you do not deserve a little sister who will follow your every move and will always rely on your decisions. No, I will be your equal...I will help you decide and I will help you get things done. I will make sure my voice is heard. I will not apologize for being strong. Because frankly, sometimes, you might need some ass-whooping. But, I will always put respect and decency first. I will not apologize for being strong. Because just because I am does not mean that I expect you to be weak. I want both our strengths to show. I want our weaknesses addressed. I will not apologize for being strong. Because only by being strong will I be able to defend you when and if you find yourself defenseless, and I know you seem strong, but should there come a time when you need someone to save you, oh believe me I am your person. I will not apologize for being strong. 

So suck it.