The Drive...
"If your heart is bleeding, run fast until your whole body hurts, until the physical pain overrides the pain in your soul, this time, you can cry with an excuse."
I am competitive. I am an achiever. This fire is hidden in my meek smile and seemingly laid-back personality. But, no. For the people who know me well - they know, I work my ass off to get what I want. I fight until the universe gives up and gives me what I need. No one can see this though - why? Because I never let other people see me in my most trying times. I hide. I almost never ask for help. It is only when things get to a boil that my disposition changes and I open like a dam and pour out all my frustrations. But, until I get saturated with tension and self-doubt, no one really sees me break down. To friends - I am always the calm one...the one who gets things done. Yet, no one has really seen me at my lowest. Perhaps, this is also because when I feel so low - I move a little bit faster. In fact, I do more things when I feel low.
I clean, dance, run, write, sing, and travel - damn, I move.Then I cry. Afterward, I dry my tears and I get going once again. There is only one way - forward always forward.
So yes, in the coming weeks, once again, I will see myself pushed to the limit. I will finalize my dissertation. I will run a marathon. I will finish my publication. I will take more combat classes. I will travel. I will rekindle my intimacy with muay thai. I will live. And I will love. :)
I am competitive. I am an achiever. This fire is hidden in my meek smile and seemingly laid-back personality. But, no. For the people who know me well - they know, I work my ass off to get what I want. I fight until the universe gives up and gives me what I need. No one can see this though - why? Because I never let other people see me in my most trying times. I hide. I almost never ask for help. It is only when things get to a boil that my disposition changes and I open like a dam and pour out all my frustrations. But, until I get saturated with tension and self-doubt, no one really sees me break down. To friends - I am always the calm one...the one who gets things done. Yet, no one has really seen me at my lowest. Perhaps, this is also because when I feel so low - I move a little bit faster. In fact, I do more things when I feel low.
I clean, dance, run, write, sing, and travel - damn, I move.Then I cry. Afterward, I dry my tears and I get going once again. There is only one way - forward always forward.
So yes, in the coming weeks, once again, I will see myself pushed to the limit. I will finalize my dissertation. I will run a marathon. I will finish my publication. I will take more combat classes. I will travel. I will rekindle my intimacy with muay thai. I will live. And I will love. :)
Comments